The World
by Luna Lapin
Summary: This is my story. A story of my flaws. A story of my possessiveness and desires. A story of my arrogance and morbid thoughts. A story of my love for you. A story of what I can't have. A story of my World···The World.


A/N: Not sure where I got this idea from. I'm usually over in the Shugo Chara! and VOCALOID section so...yeah. I'm migrating to Kingdom Hearts yaoi right now.

Please enjoy the first installment of "The World"- Chapter one: Thoughts Of You.

Love,

Hinamori Rin

P.S: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, it belongs to Square Enix.

* * *

Don't call me "Big Brother". Don't place me into the same category as your blood relatives. Don't put me together with the ones who actually "live" with you. Stop looking up to me; placing me upon a pedestal above all others - above all humanity. Cease your various compliments and your goals to be my equivalent because the truth of the matter is...I'm not a "Big Brother". I'm not your flawless, perfected envisionment of a role model. I don't want you as my "little brother" - I simply want you.

* * *

You're the epitome of joy. The persona of 'A bottle of sunshine'. Your hair - so beautifully coloured a chocolate brown, each follicle adjoined together to create such a unique, feathery texture. Your eyes - almond shaped, but slightly slanted upwards to reveal your Asian heritage. Those blue orbs drenched, and filled to the brim by the sea itself. Your skin - so fair, but lightly tanned by your-I mean our- time in the sun.

Do you notice what you're doing to me? Are you aware of the truth? The fact that I, continuously, restrain myself when you're near. Is your naïve, happy-go-lucky personality a farce to hide your darker, more sinister intentions of driving me insane with want and desire for you entity, your entire being?

I crane my neck back; catching a glimpse of you. Your head, it's rested upon your arms as you nap next to the open window - it's Spring, almost Summer, so the light breeze is calming to you. I know this - you told me yourself. No - you ca't come up with such a malice thoughts, you're too gentle, humble, and jovial. But even so, I desperately hold on to that foolish thought because, if your actions were such a trickery, if you were just a wolf in sheep's clothing, then maybe you'd want me as much I do you.

* * *

It's lunch period now. You and I - we always spend it together. You pick our seats; underneath the old Cherry Blossom tree ··· like a usual Spring day for us. I tell you that they'll blossom soon. You smile at that - you like Cherry Blossom trees. I smile as well; your mirth, it's contagious. As we eat, you with your ramen set and me with my simple onigiri, you shed off your navy uniform blazer. The sun is shining directly on our spot - not even the small budding blossoms create a shadow however.

At some point you finish your noodles, slurping up at the broth and letting the small droplets dribble down from your mouth. I don't refrain from my chuckles in a pretentious attempt to see your pout grace your small girly lips - you do pout, and I conceal my blush. Somehow I end up with you poking my cheek telling my how great I was at my and practice yesterday. I shrug it off. I know, I did my best because you were there.

"Big Brother, can I watch you play again?" Rigid, tense. My whole body freezes. Stop calling me "Big Brother".

"Sure. I don't mind." I can't say no to you - it's like shooting a puppy ... point blank. You squeal - almost feminine like - and glomp me: playfully rubbing your cheek against the top of my head. ··· That feels good.

"Thanks Big Brother! You're awesome!" I agree with you, narcissistically because I can't say no to you - I just can't.

* * *

My book bag creates a thump as I throw it down onto my carpeted bedroom floor, beside my bed. I gaze at my favourite picture of us. I'm carrying you on my back as you point forward, a determined look upon your face - I'm sighing in exasperation...those were good days. Days I didn't have to fret about my true thoughts leaking. Days where I didn't have to caution myself before touching you, or restrain myself while being embraced by you. Days where ··· I liked being called "Big Brother".

I shake the thoughts away and fall onto my bed, covering my eyes with both hands. There was nothing to do. Homework was done and you were at a swim meet.

"Sora." I love your name it's the exact opposite of mine, and yet...they fit perfectly together. My thoughts are soon interrupted by a familiar tune···_Hikari_···It's you.

Without hesitance I scramble for my phone, the vibrations are highly ticklish. Breathless, I'm able to answer; the intro to the song had already passed however.

"S-Sora?" You giggle-never chuckling with you, it's just too masculine.

"Hey! Hey, bro! Just finished swim practice, can I come over?" I can imagine you dripping wet, already having consummated your swim meet with your after shower, as you wrap one towel around your neck so that it can catch the droplets from your hair. And so easily, I can envision you tightening that other towel around your waist.

"Hmm, maybe...who knows?" I love teasing you. I can simply see that petite pout gracing you features.

"Aww, come on Riku!" Now I can picture you stomping your size six feet as you pull your red t-shirt over your bare chest-the shoulders are darkening in colour due to your still damp body.

"Just kidding, come on over." You giggle once again, out of satisfaction because you got your way. I chuckle.

You like getting you way. I like that too.

* * *

By now, it's four in the afternoon. You and I are engrossed in your favourite PS2 game; Kingdom Hearts. You squeal with joy as you finally beat the Heartless-you've been trying to for two days now. I smirk at your accomplishment; I purposely let you win-but I'll never tell you that. As I get up from my spot on the love seat, you follow. You always follow me; tracing my steps and trails with your own footing. My mum left us alone, and I remind myself to thank her later. Immediately, you place yourself on the barstool to our island. You're waiting for food, that I can tell.

You question me about dinner. I say I don't know and ask you what you want. I stare you down as you begin to think of choices, your head is bobbing from side to side as you weigh between your favourite two-you always do that.

"Hmm, Pizza! Pizza! Definitely pizza!" You shout, spinning around on the swivel chair, your hands pumping, fisting the air. I chuckle at this.

* * *

You're adorable while you sleep, curled up next to me in my bed, cuddling against my stomach. I can't sleep, knowing you're next to me. You look so vulnerable right now; your even breaths, your polka dotted pajama pants, and black beater.

I want to touch you.

I want to hold you.

I want···No.

I decide that my thoughts are horrid. Simply wrong. You're just so innocent, you still haven't even had your first crush. I know this because you told me; you came crying to me about it in the eighth grade. I gulp. Your hand, it pushes up your light weight sleeping clothes, exposing your swimmer's body. My eyes look away, I can't trust myself to not do something to you. To not simply take you, make you mine···by force that is. Quietly, I try to remove myself from you, but of course you're a damn light sleeper.

"R-Riku?," You're stirring now, sitting up, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. So innocent. "Riku, where are you going?" I lay back down, arm stretched out against the pillows, leaving it open for you body to mesh with mine.

"Nowhere, I'm not gonna go anywhere. Just go back to sleep." I'm grinding my teeth now, trying to restrain. Trying to stop. You nod, gravity defying brunette locks, swishing as you do so. My invitation is accepted and you curl back up close to me once again. I'm not gonna go anywhere, Sora.

I don't think I have the will power to even try.

* * *

A/N: Chapter one done! Expect more to come! R&R pretty please!


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